I had only read about it during my study of Buddhism. Now I have experienced it. A rare kind of Happiness. Deep. Persistent. Abundant. And to now think that the seed to create it was within me all this time! I wake up each day smiling on the inside as I know it’s one more day when I get to play Mommy.
The zero-resistance ‘Surrender’ to God and to Destiny that people seek in books, in gurus, in religions, and in prayer is right here in front of my eyes. I cannot imagine a Surrender as absolute, as complete, and as loving, as that of a baby to his mother.
The new mother inside me feels nervous of making mistakes. After all, I am the one deciding and executing every moment of his Life. As hard as I try, it’s never perfect. Sometimes his bath water is a little too warm, sometimes his diaper is little too big, sometimes as I try to burp him and the food that he sucked with so much energy comes flying out. Yet, he never complains. He just coos, giggles, cries or smiles with love, through all of this, his faith in his Mommy unshaken. I have nothing to prove and his touch assures me that I am doing my best. The past moment or the one about to come do not prejudice his faith. His Surrender to me stays untouched.
This is probably the closest I am going to get to understanding the miracle of Life, of Happiness, and the Surrender that is expected of me. I have so much to learn from my baby, my tiny Buddha.
And yet, despite all my shortcomings, I get to play Buddha’s Mommy. Surreal!